Saturday, March 25, 2017

The Republican Case Against Republicans

Something happened in the past few days which is a perfect example why any sensible person interested in making informed decisions about politics and public policy should ignore both the current president and all news outlets which are obviously cheerleaders for this president.  My goal here is not only to prove my case, but to do so citing only Republican sources of information, because as everyone knows, Democrats can't be trusted.  If they had their way, NO ONE would harass women, Muslims or Jews, and everyone would have access to affordable health care which meets their needs.  And how can you trust people like that?

WARNING: You must possess at least two brain cells to ride on this blog post.  If you do not currently possess two brain cells, please exit through the doors on your right.  If you DO possess two brain cells, make sure to get them warmed up!  In a little while, we're going to play 'Are You Smarter Than a 5th Grader?'

It all began when the current president accused the former president of doing something inappropriate:



Uncharacteristically, the president then refused to talk any more about the alleged "wire tapping".  But since the president is a Republican, and we know Republicans always tell the truth, we know that these tweets reveal four facts:
  1. Obama ordered surveillance for political purposes --- hence the reference to 'Nixon/Watergate'.  Such surveillance is clearly illegal.
  2. This surveillance targeted Trump or the Trump campaign.
  3. The surveillance occurred 'in October, just prior to Election', or possibly in the first week of November 'just before the victory'.
  4. The specific location of the surveillance was in 'Trump Tower'.
So, take that information and put it in your first brain cell.  Got it?  Good.

After that, of course, the president and the White House made no further statements to back up their claim.  They didn't cite any evidence, for example, but rather asked Congress and the intelligence agencies to investigate, taking a 'wait and see' attitude toward the story.  And in the first couple of weeks, reports from other 100%-honest and truthful Republicans were not promising.

On March 15, House Intelligence Committee Chair Devin Nunes announced (along with weasley Democrat Adam Schiff) that he had seen no evidence of surveillance of Trump Tower, stating that if the president's claims were to be taken literally, then "clearly the president was wrong".  The next day, the right honorable Sen. Richard Burr, Republican Chair of the Senate Select Committee on Intelligence issued the following statement (along with Democratic loser and hater Mark Warner):
Based on the information available to us, we see no indications that Trump Tower was the subject of surveillance by any element of the United States government either before or after Election Day 2016.
Finally, on March 20, Republican hero and FBI Director James Comey also announced that there was no evidence to support the president's claim.  Needless to say, things were looking pretty bleak for our president at this point!

But finally, the president got some good news confirmation of his claims on March 22, when Devin Nunes dropped a bombshell.  He said he had recently become aware of some surveillance:
  1. Which was "legally collected, foreign intelligence under FISA".  Nunes emphasized three separate times that the surveillance was conducted legally, and thus not remotely similar to Nixon/Watergate.
  2. Which "incidentally collected information about U.S. citizens involved in the Trump transition."  That is, some government agency was involved in surveillance that was NOT targeting Trump or his campaign.
  3. Which occurred "during the transition," which is to say AFTER the election.
  4. He also reiterated: "I said from day one there wasn't a physical wiretap of Trump Tower.  I still don't have evidence that shows that at all".
Take those four facts, and stick them in your other brain cell.  Because now, it's time to rub those brain cells together!

Trump saidNunes said
Obama ordered the surveillance ILLEGALLY, like Watergate.The surveillance was LEGALLY ordered by the FISA court.
Trump and his campaign WERE the targets of the surveillance.Trump and his campaign were NOT the targets of the surveillance.
The surveillance occurred BEFORE the election.The surveillance occurred AFTER the election.
The surveillance occurred AT Trump Tower.The surveillance did NOT occur at Trump Tower.

So, when you get done rubbing your brain cells together, what do you conclude?  A fairly bright 5th-grader would conclude that Nunes' allegations provide close to 0% confirmation of Trump's tweets.  The only thing Trump and Nunes seem to agree on is that sometimes the federal government conducts surveillance.

Most conservative media outlets, however, are no match for bright 5th-graders.

The Daily Wire blared: "Trump is 100% Vindicated on Wiretapping".

The Gateway Pundit insisted: "TRUMP WAS RIGHT!"

And so on.

This would seem to conclusively demonstrate that conservative news outlets are either staffed by total morons, or that they are effectively part of the Republican party, and thus will say anything, no matter how logic-free, if they think it makes them look good.  Which is why I said at the very top that a sensible person interested in making informed decisions should ignore them.

Unfortunately, it gets worse.  One would hope, after all, that a sitting president wouldn't make such an incendiary claim about his predecessor unless --- well, ever, actually, even if it were true.  But if a president DOES make such a claim, he'd better damn well have access to hard evidence to back it up.

If Trump has such hard evidence, then the correct response to Nunes' announcement would either be (a) Silence, or (b) A statement along the lines of: "That's not the surveillance I was referring to."  But instead, Trump decided right along with the morons of the conservative media that Nunes' non-bombshell vindicated him, preening "So that means I'm right" in an interview with Time magazine.  Which is a fairly tacit admission that Trump's original allegation was made on the basis of no evidence whatsoever.

So please.  If you want to be a partisan hack and marinate in media which lie to you in order to make yourself feel good about being a Republican, well, go ahead.  But then don't wrap yourself in the flag, or seriously insist that you know what's best for the country.  If you listen to Fox and Gateway Pundit and InfoWars, at least acknowledge that you're doing it out of selfish reasons, and not because you give a damn about staying informed or what's best for the country.  And whatever you do DON'T VOTE AGAIN.  Voting is for adults who take their civic duties seriously.

If you're ready to change your ways, start looking to respectable mainstream media outlets like the New York Times, the Washington Post or The Atlantic.  And if you're feeling adventurous, consider even Mother Jones or Talking Points Memo.  They may not say the things you like to hear, and they may even make mistakes from time to time, but they'll never lie to you just to advance a political agenda.

And finally, in case you were thinking that at least Devin Nunes is the one honest Republican in this story, think again.  After going off half-cocked on the 22nd to give Trump & Co. an excuse to feel vindicated (and possibly engaging in criminal obstruction of justice in the process), he has now backed down from his claims, saying that he can't be sure whether Trump and/or his aides were captured by surveillance even incidentally.

As a rule, it's best just to ignore Republicans completely.
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